


My constant patience has been worth its weight in gold.

by Chychyd



Category: Saturday Night Live
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Jimmy is a good friend, M/M, Recovery, Seth is kind of dumb but he's cute so it's okay, Stefon is trying, Talking about babies and stuff, weird analogies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 08:55:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14973623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chychyd/pseuds/Chychyd
Summary: Seth wants kids but doesn't know how to talk to Stefon about it, meanwhile, Stefon has been trying to be a better, healthier person to prove to Seth that he's ready for kids. Our boys are dumb and this story is cute, please enjoy responsibly.





	My constant patience has been worth its weight in gold.

The air was a weird kind of tense as the room was filled with only the sound of forks against plates. Neither of them spoke because they assumed the other had nothing to say, which was wrong. They both had things they wanted to say but neither knew how to go about it. How to form their words into sentences and put question marks on those sentences and ask them in a way that made literally any sense. They were both writers and yet words were currently both of their enemy.

 

It was Sunday, and Sunday was  _ their  _ day but it had been a weird Sunday. On Sundays they normally slept in. On Sundays they got brunch and went shopping and spent most of the day on the couch. Sometimes Stefon would sit between Seth’s feet and paint his toenails whichever color polish he hadn’t put away the last time he painted his own. They would usually rent a movie or find some new show to binge. Sundays were for them. Sundays Stefon cooked dinner. And tonight, just like every Sunday, he did.

 

Tonight was salmon and rice and vegetables, something Stefon’s doctor told him he needed more of so he learned how to cook it to taste good so he could force is down. But tonight he couldn’t do more than push it around on his plate as it got cold. Another Sunday task ruined.

 

“Stefon, what’s wrong? You’ve barely touched your food.”

 

Stefon shrugged, placing his fork down and looking up from his plate at his husband. “Nothing, Seth Meyers. Just not really feeling the fishy-fish mood tonight.” 

 

Seth made a “oh” noise and went back to eating.

 

Truth was, it just didn’t feel like Sunday.

 

When Stefon woke up at a little after noon, Seth was gone and hadn’t bother to wake him before he left. Stefon had been at the club until the early hours of the morning, but no later than usual. No later than when Seth would wake him at 10 or whenever he rolled out of bed, giving Stefon a morning kiss and possibly more, depending on how the two felt. Today, there was a note on the fridge about going on a run and going to lunch with Jimmy, so Stefon had some toast and went to the grocery store by himself. He still wasn’t skilled at how to purchase proper adult meals so he left with the salmon and veggies and poptarts and popcorn and pop rocks because for whatever reason things that started with “pop” seemed like a really good idea at the time.

 

Stefon went home and the house was still empty and his phone had no messages from his husband. So he popped the popcorn and drank some beer and watched Pulp Fiction again even though he quit blow six months ago and it always makes him crave it.

 

It wasn’t until after the movie was over and he was washing his bowl from the popcorn did Seth finally stroll through the door. There was a quick hello and Seth was jogging to the bathroom to shower and change into comfy house clothes. Stefon went to his office and stared at a blank word document, waiting for words to urge his fingers to the keys, but they didn’t. He sighed as a headache lulled at his temples. He sat back in his chair and clothes his eyes, hoping for some inkling of inspiration to strike.

 

Instead, arms gently wrapped around his shoulders and lips pressed to the top of his head. He let out a more content sigh and rested his head against Seth’s arm. “Do you know what I saw today?” Seth mumbled against Stefon’s head. Stefon hummed in response. “I saw a duck and a pigeon fight for some french fries on the ground except they both already had one french fry in their mouths so it looked like they were sword fighting with fries. You should have seen it.”

 

“I wish I could have.” Stefon mumbled, feeling slightly jaded for not being invited out, or even made aware Seth had plans. He could feel Seth tense around him.

 

“I’m sorry. Jimmy had just asked last minute and I knew you’d be tired from the club and-”

 

“It’s fine, Seth Meyers.” Stefon brought Seth’s hand to his lips. “Really.” 

 

Seth had soon retreated into his own office until Stefon had finished cooking dinner, leading them to this painfully quiet meal. Seth only had a few carrots and a couple forkfuls of  rice left the next time Stefon spoke. Stefon tried to time it in between bites.

 

“Do you want to have a baby?”

 

Seth still managed to choke, even if it was on air.

 

**_Twelve Hours Earlier:_ **

 

Seth let out a frustrated sigh as he noticed the sun starting to peak its head around the New York skyscrapers and into his window. He had been tossing and turning for hours, only nodding off for small increments. His mind was too loud and buzzing and pondering to allow him the luxury of sleep tonight.

 

He turned to face Stefon, peacefully asleep, eyebrows knit in concentration as he dreamed, and his hair falling miscellaneously over his face. He reached out and gently moved a strand of hair from in front of his husband’s eyes. He was so beautiful. Seth felt an ache in his stomach and dread that threatened to wedge its way into his mind.

 

He loved Stefon so much. And their marriage has been just about perfect. They’ve been so happy the way things are. But there was something missing, something that pulled Seth’s attention from his work, something that nagged at the back of his head at night. He reached over for his phone and shot a text to his friend Jimmy. 

 

_ Want to get brunch? I’ll pay. _

 

His phone buzzed only moment’s later.  _ You do realize it’s a little early for brunch, right? _

 

_ I know. I’ve got some stuff to do first. 10? _

 

_ 10 at Sally’s. _

 

Seth rolled out of bed, giving up on the unsatisfying dozing he had been doing since the wee hours of the night. He reached over and lightly kissed Stefon’s head before throwing on a shirt and heading towards the kitchen. Stefon never stirred. He made a cup of coffee, creeping around the kitchen in hopes that he wouldn’t disturb his lovely husband. Stefon had gotten in about 3 in the morning from  _ NYHC! _ (Pronounced “Yuck!” with a N in the front.) So he knew he’d be tired but also Seth didn’t want to have to explain why he was disrupting their usual Sunday plans to go spend time with Jimmy Fallon.

 

With his coffee, he made his way to his office. He stood in the doorway and took the room in. It wasn’t a big room, but it was bigger than just an office. They were renting a three bedroom apartment but two of those were used as their offices. They originally wanted to utilize their space to the best of their abilities, and since the rooms are definitely big enough to accommodate two desks, they had shared one of the rooms as an office and had plans to make the other a guest room. That idea was quickly dismissed when they realized they couldn’t utilize the same space without ending up on top of each other.

 

So Seth stood in the doorway and sipped his coffee as his mind traveled somewhere else. He pictured the walls painted a pale shade of pink or blue or purple or green and instead of the large desk shoved against a wall, a dainty child’s bed sat low to the ground. He pictured toys and tiny clothes littering the plain carpet. He sighed and thought to himself how wonderful of a use of space that sounded. He pushed those thoughts aside as he opened his laptop and began answering emails and tending to work things that could have waited until tomorrow.

 

After a couple of hours of emails, script revisions, and sketch writing, Seth’s stomach demanded he get a move on food. He munched on a granola bar as he crept back into his room to get some running clothes. He looked over at his bed and was relieved to see Stefon still peacefully asleep exactly how Seth had left him. He quickly got ready and put his running shoes on, taking one more longing look at his husband and wondered what he dreamed about. Seth thought maybe he should ask him sometime. There were a lot of things he should ask.

 

Running was like a safe haven for Seth. It was something about allowing a few moments to let your mind do nothing while your body worked on auto-pilot. Seth would liken the feeling of running to smoking, but much better for you. It was the burn in his chest, especially this time of the year when it was barely in the teens outside, and the way his mind numbed itself just a little. It was hard to breath, sure, but so was it when smoking. It was the way his body rushed with the same relief when his feet slowed as it did when the nicotine hit his veins. It was the way his muscles ache the same way his lungs did after a night of chain-smoking. There were still times, more often than not, when Seth still craved the old habit. He felt his feet slow to a stop as he realized he couldn’t remember the last time Stefon came home reeking of the familiar smell of cigarette smoke or the last time he saw a singular butt in the ashtray they kept on the balcony.

 

-

 

“So, what’s going on, man?” Jimmy asked as they sat down at the small diner. The waitress took their order. A turkey club for Seth and broccoli soup for Jimmy.

 

Seth sighed and looked down at his hands. “Well, you see.. You’re the only one of my friends still in a successful marriage.” Seth chuckled.

 

“Wait, are you and Stefon having issues?” Jimmy asked seriously.

 

“Oh god, no! No, our marriage is great. Basically perfect.”

 

“But?”

 

Seth sighed. “But.. Jim.. I want kids.” Seth worried at his bottom lip. “And. And I don’t think Stefon does. It wasn’t really something we talked about before we got married and now…” Seth shrugged and met Jimmy’s eyes.

 

“And because I have a baby you think I know what’s going on in your husband’s head?” Jimmy joked.

 

“No!” Seth laughed. “I just don’t know what I should do. I want children, I know that. But, you know Stefon. He doesn’t really seen like the ‘dad’ type.”

 

“You’re going to have to just talk to him, Seth.” The waitress brought their food and Seth dug in, still very hungry. “I mean, when Nancy and I first started  _ trying  _ we hadn’t even really  _ talked  _ about it. We just kind of stopped not trying. It wasn’t until it wasn’t working that we actually had to sit down and be like ‘okay. Are we really sure this is what we want?’ and it was an odd conversation, getting ready to actually do it.”

 

“And then you went with a surrogate.” 

 

“Right. And that was really hard because we went back and forth for a while, at least I did. Like, did I really want to do this? Is this what was best? I mean, my life was great without kids, was this going to make it better or worse? And not actually seeing her pregnant, but knowing you’ve got a kid baking somewhere, that’s a whole trip itself-”

 

“Jimmy, I don’t think this is exactly helping how to talk to my husband about having children.”

 

“What is it that makes you think he doesn’t want kids?” Jimmy changed the subject.

 

Seth thought for a moment. Their life together played out quickly in Seth’s mind; the partying, the drinking, the drugs, being out all hours of the night, the way they worked. It was everything Seth had fallen in love with and right now, it felt like it was stopping them. “He’s never shown interest. And, he lives a certain lifestyle, Jimmy. I love every part of him just the way he is but Stefon isn’t one to give up those things, I know.”

 

“How do you know he wouldn’t change?”

 

“We broke up once, before we got married. That’s when he got with Cooper. We hadn’t been together super long but I was under the impression when he got into a serious relationship that he was going to change and he didn’t like that so he left. We both had a lot of growing up to do back then but he’s not going to change and I wouldn’t want him to. I just don’t think he’ll want to give up the life he has now for children.”

 

They were silent for a few minutes, both thinking, considering, as they ate their food.

 

“I have noticed a couple of things, though.” Seth swallowed down a bite of his sandwich.

 

“About Stefon?”

 

“Yeah. I think he stopped smoking.”

 

“Well, that’s good!” Jimmy commented.

 

“And he has like, a schedule now. Like today, for example; on Sundays him and I will do some grocery shopping and watch movies. And then he cooks dinner and we both clean up. We do this every Sunday, except today, of course.”

 

“And that’s odd, because?” Jimmy was looking at Seth’s face, trying to make sense of his thought pattern.

 

“Stefon doesn’t do schedules. He’s never liked them, that’s why he could never do more than Weekend Update for SNL because he hated how tight of a schedule everything was there. But now he does yoga every Tuesday and Friday. And he got another manager for the club, Jimmy.”

 

“I’ve been meaning to ask how  _ New York’s Hottest Club _ was going.” Jimmy said around a bite of bread.

 

“It’s going amazing. He loves managing it and it’s packed every night. But he came to me a few weeks ago and said he wanted to hire another manager and already had someone in mind so we had a meeting and the guy seems legit -for one of Stefon’s friends, anyway. Shy had them sign the paperwork and now Stefon is only there on Friday, Saturday, and Wednesday.”

 

“Did he tell you why?”

 

“He just said he wanted to be home more. I’m gone most of the week working on the show but we make it work great. If he’s not up to anything he likes to hang around the studio while we work on rewrites and stuff and we hang out then. Sometimes he’ll stay and watch the show and sometimes he’ll go home and watch it from there. And then we’re both working Friday nights but if I’m not too tired I’ll stop by the club after I leave the studio or I’ll go with him on Saturday nights. But either way, he is almost always home by 3 a.m like clockwork.”

 

“You know what it sounds like to me?” Jimmy had a sly smile on as he set his spoon down in his empty bowl.

 

“What?” Seth sighed.

 

“It sounds like your hubby is changing, Seth. And maybe he’s trying to show you he can, he just needs to do it on his own. You should really talk to him, I think you’ll be surprised.”

 

\--

 

“You-you want kids? With me?” Seth blinked a couple of times, still making sense of what Stefon had just said.

 

“No, with Mitt Romney’s sister Britt Romney. Yes, you, silly!”

 

Seth couldn’t help the smile that spread on his face. He’s so dumb. So incredibly dumb.

 

He got up and crossed the table to his husband. “How long have you been thinking about this?”

 

Stefon smiled shyly and looked down. “A while. I’ve been trying to do better so you would know I was serious.” Stefon reached out and played with Seth’s wedding band.

 

Everything made sense in that moment. Stefon doesn’t smoke anymore, he doesn’t come home wasted from his club, he hired a second manager so he wasn’t there every night. He eats better, he has a schedule. Especially on Sundays. Damn it. Seth realized he must have ruined Stefon’s Sunday schedule.

 

“Yes! Yes, Stefon I want to have kids. With you. I didn’t think you did and I have spent the last two days trying to think of how to ask you and here you are wanting to ask me. I was with Jimmy today literally talking about this!”

 

Stefon’s hands flew to his mouth. “I thought Seth Meyers was mad at me for something when he didn’t spend the day with me.”

 

Seth took Stefon’s hands from his face and brought them to his lips. “No, sweetheart. I’m not mad at you, you know I could never be. I just didn’t know how to ask you because if you didn’t want kids and I did, I needed to figure out how to be okay with that.” Stefon’s smile got wider and he pressed his lips against Seth’s.

 

“Well, Seth Meyers. You don’t even have to worry!” Stefon began pulling his husband through the apartment.

 

“What are you doing, Stefon?” Seth laughed.

 

“We’re going to go make a baby!” Stefon pushed their bedroom door open and quickly had Seth on the bed. 

 

“I don’t think this is how that works.” Stefon climbed on top of Seth.

 

“It wouldn’t hurt to try.” Stefon brought his tongue to meet his top row of teeth.

 

“No, I supposed it wouldn’t.” Seth laughed before slamming his lips against Stefon’s.

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by Stargazing by Gnash ft. the Vancouver Sleep Clinic.


End file.
